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Saturday, July 12, 2008


it has been a commonality in most bisexuals, effeminates, discreets or gays, in general, that when we look at a guy or someone else, we tend to think, first and foremost... if they are one of us. some might disagree with my first statement, but then in the longer run, you tend to think the same way.. specially if the guy is hot, interesting, cute, gwapo and all that...

we all know this instinct, even women have this what we call gay-dar... and so when we see a potential guy far away, yet our eyes so sharp to notice them, our gay-dars, no matter how empty their batteries are, are always on the run. we tend to look for signs - the fingers, the hips, the way he walks, he talks (if we are near), the people with him, the eyes... and sometimes, we just go through our guts...

it has become my hobby to always have my gay-dar up and running... pero sakin... may difference... in a crowd, i treat all men to be one of us... tapos dun ako hahanap ng sign kung sila ay straight.. works quite the same, pero sakin lahat gay muna... and i wouldn't think it's a gay-dar... it's more of a "straight-dar"

i am sharing because i am wondering if my gay-dar or "straight-dar," for that matter, is working fine...

i have this crush in the office. he's not my first crush, had several crushes before sa office, pero nagfade ung iba... he was from another team but since almost everyone knows everybody in the project (not necessarily by name, but by face. its like when you see him/her, you'd say "oh, he/she's my officemate), i always get to see him...

thorough research has given me his name - JF. and i also found out that one of my teammates is a close friend of him - MC (not mariah carey, choz!). one night, MC sent me an email na kamustahin ko raw si JF and magreply sa email nya. through our chat room, i sent him the message. he replied and thanked me.

another night, we were seated opposite each other with just a partition (you know the typical call center partition!). with his headset on, he stood up and said "di ba ikaw c *LFTS*?" (don't bother knowing what's LFTS means, that's looking for the source!)


"di ba pinangalan ung name mo kay *LF* at *TS*?"

"uu sa anak ni LJ"

my name was actually taken from the two sons of a famous band member... (guessing game ba ito?)

and that's how we became friends. thanks to my parents who gave me that name.

from then on he would always ask me if i had lunch na. or kung break ko na. he would always call me by my name + the last name of the band member... favorite nya kasi un. we would talk about alternative music (band of horses) and would always borrow my psp to play NFS Carbon.

it was always ganun. feeling heaven.

until one night, i found out na sila na pala ni MC (MC by the way is a girl). MC confessed na they have been dating and theyve been partners for almost a month na. sakin, cge goodluck sa inyo. straight nmn ang tingin ko sa kanya eh - at least that's what my gaydar says... or is it? (note, within that "almost a month" kami nagkakilala).

i dunno if i diagnosed it right. or maybe im just fooling myself na straight nga sya talaga.

here are the facts.

>> when times na dadaanan nya ako, or mapapadaan lang sya, there are times na he would touch my waist.. discreetly... oh.. heaven for me.. ha ha..

>> another time na sinabi pa nyang "hindi mo na ako kinukulit?" (if he knew i was bisexual, or even if he knew i was straight, would he ask another straight man na kulitin sya?)

>> i took one of his escalated calls, which ended up as a dispatch (sending out a tech to the customer's house), i did a favor for him na ako na ang magp-process ng dispatch. i sent him a mail na the dispatch has been successfully made... guess what he replied... thanks!!MWAH!! (and i quote, the mwah are typed in caps!) - would a straight guy tell "mwah" to another straight guy? or at least someone who pretends to be? ive done same favors for other straight guys, and as a reply, they say "tenchu", "thanks", or "salamat pre/tol" but never was a mwah in any of the messages...

>> here's one more... this happened just last night.. he was sitting with his friend (which is an extremely out loud gay - call him ER) and as usual, i was near them... biglang banat si ER - "JF bottom mo nga ako!"

...JF's reaction was at first dumbfounded... then he reacted... "TOP ako..."

...bwelta si ER "dali na bottom mo ako"

...JF didn't react...


...JF : "versa ako eh..."

...ER : "ah versa ka, eh di bottom mo ako, bottom kita!"

...JF just laughed...

for a straight guy, and in some one in a straight guy-girl relationship, the guy's always on TOP, no questions about it. but for a straight guy to know about TOP, BOTTOM and VERSA... oh cmon (not unless he's a tripper - trippers >> naku bading din yan, feeling lang straight!)

what do you think?

pa-repair ko na ba gaydar ko?


Mugen said...

Medyo confuusing nga yan bro. I would say he's open to the idea of experimenting. Hehe. Medyo distansya ako sa straights eh, pero pag alam kong pwede i convert, mas lalo akong naiwas.

Looking For The Source said...

<< mugen >>

Hayz... Bakit nmn distansya ka sa straights lalo na sa convertible (hala! para daw car!)

erin de la cruz said...

This is without doubt your best post so far. Grabe! Halos...AHH! Napatitig talaga ako sa monitor. LFTS, ako mahina ang gaydar ko. I cannot distinguish a gay, bi, or straight guy these days. Ewan ko ba. Anyway,

here's one more... this happened just last night.. he was sitting with his friend (which is an extremely out loud gay - call him ER) and as usual, i was near them... biglang banat si ER - "JF bottom mo nga ako!"

...JF's reaction was at first dumbfounded... then he reacted... "TOP ako..."

DITO talaga ako nagulat. Hmmmm. I am gonna ask my gay friend JC about thissss. =) Hay! ENJOY TALAGA!

Looking For The Source said...

<< erin >>

thanks so much! so happy about your comment! :) :) :)

actually nung bumwelta si ER nung statement na yun, wala sakin kasi, by nature... malandi tlga xa...

nagulat ako nung nagrespond c JF. ung response nya kasi hindi normal na response ng isang straight guy. basta... ayun..

MINK said...

napaka interesting ng istorya mo... nakakarelate ako... haha

i have a str8 friend na parehas na parehas sa kanya, ang sa tingin ko naman ehhh sweet lang kaya may mga mwah at take note may kasama pang love you... dahil nga friend at hindi ko talaga ginagamit gaydar ko, hindi ko sya as in never pinagkamalan, comes a time na like nya pala rin ako, nyahaha. and ending hindi pwede kasi pre occupied sya at magkalayo kami eh.

about sa inyo... sa palagay ko may chance, sino nga ba namang str8 ang pag ma mWAHH sa isang lalaki, maliban na lang kung kayo ay bosom friends o BFFs. at never pa akong naka encounter na str8 na alam ang versa top o bottom, kaloka ha. hehe

i enjoyed this post, mag backtrack ako ng mga posts mo ha... ;)

if you really like him talaga, makipagfriends ka muna, start from there and the relationship will be nice!


Looking For The Source said...

<< mink >>


cguro nga ayoko lng gamitin ung gaydar ko sa kanya...

gulat nga ako may mwah eh.. sana totohanin n lng nya...

friends na kami. actually nagpplano nga kami magbaguio... kasama ung gf nyang teammate ko...

mink said...

exciting yan, threesome... hehe


erin de la cruz said...

hmmmm. hmmmmmm. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. malamig sa baguio, di ba?

Looking For The Source said...

<< mink >>

wahahaha.. pwede rin.. or cguro kami n lng dalawa ni JF. pag tulog na c MC..

kaso parang nakakatakot pumunta ng baguio kas balak namin this friday, eh di ba according to chismis, sa friday ung massive earthquake sa pinas??

<< erin >>

sarap magpainit.. ha ha..

mink said...

ingat sa byahe source! hindi ko alam news na yun ahhh. hindi na kasi ako nanonood ng balita.

Looking For The Source said...

<< mink >>

na-email lng sakin. ayoko din maniwala kasi no one can predict earthquakes.. pero nakakakaba pa rin..