A Dot in the Universe...

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are you looking for me? or am i supposed to look for you?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

My History

Writing things these personal isn't really a new stuff for me. Neither is blogging. I've been doing this journal thingy ever since I was in high school. The only difference was that, I was using a notebook before... now my laptop (offline)... and finally blogger.com...

I particularly blame my high school English professor who made journal writing a requirement. That was 1999... And I remember, I did wrote on every country-wide event done to celebrate Y2K! And I could always read on to what I wrote... laugh about my grammatical errors (up until now) and everything that happened to me...

College came, and I was still writing... but this time, my journal went public. My close friends at school had access to my journals and can read it whenever available, take it home and mumble through the pages and I even left spaces for them to leave comments... However, journal entries written were of the wholesome type, not revealing anything about my sexuality and my sexual fantasies (I've been this way since I was high school)... I kept my secret until someone (who is also gay) opened it up to me privately, while on the garage, on my 20th birthday... He knew it after another gay guy (which turns out to be a classmate of mine) knew my ex and told him about me (argh. see what the internet can do for you!?!). Eventually, I told some (or I mean only one, on top of 3 gay classmates) of them the truth (which they had no choice but to accept me...).

My journal writing became dormant for a couple of months, after graduation.. or I guess more than a year...

It is not until I got my laptop when I started writing again. Thanks to Microsoft OneNote, which served as my closest buddy and journal, my journal came back to life. And I called it "Laptop Blogs." Since it never ran out of pages, has a lot of space for everything and no one can open it that easily, I wrote and pasted everything I felt, crushes I had (including pics), important YM chats and very long text messages to people... "Changes" was the name of my entries for 2007... "Irreplaceable" for 2008 (but I guess it's not)...

Since I consider myself a "late-bloomer," it is only now that I decided to take my journals in public... "one more time..." With a wider audience... but with the anonymous slur. I know somewhere and somehow, someone I know will be able to read this and find out about me, but I'll think about that when the actual "shit" happens...

Sa totoo lang, parang wala na nga akong pakialam kung malaman nila eh (tapang!!). Mag-effort muna sila na alamin kung sino ang nasa likod ng blog na ito. (Try to find out, you'd only see circuits and be lucky if you don't get electrocuted!!)

Hope this blog goes well...

7 comments:

Mugen said...

Expect my support on your project. Nagsimula ako na friends ko lang bumabasa ng blog ko. Nawala na lahat ng blog nila and after what, four or five years, here I am still writing about my life.

Goodluck bro.

Enjoy life by writing it. :)

Looking For The Source said...

thanks mugen!

really appreciate that!

erin de la cruz said...

well, you being anonymous is something, uh, interesting. hahaha! sana magkaroon ng UBE ang lahat ng readers ng iyong blog.

eugene said...

Hey there! first and foremost, thank you for the comments on my page. I really appreciate it.


Anyway, here's to hoping that you'll never run out of (good) things to write about :)

Looking For The Source said...

>> erin << wahahha.. Ube? pwede rin! hmmm.. wait, i'll think about that!

>> eugene << youre very much welcome and thanks too.

MINK said...

yeah, keep writing and well keep reading...

life is beautiful kaya, share the beauty within!

;)

Looking For The Source said...

<< mink >>

thanks!

thanks for the words of wisdom.. he he