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Thursday, September 11, 2008

What My Future Holds...

I was thinking of whether to continue a post that I was planning long time ago when I stepped into our house and saw my daddy reading the newspaper. I took a piece of pandesal, said hi to him and then he asked me a question, just a few steps before I hit the stairs...

"Ayaw mo ba talagang mag-aral uli? Kahit kami magbabayad.."

I stared with a blank face and gave him no answer. I went straight to me room. Took my shoes off and wore my slippers and I said to myself...

"Pag sinabi kong MED, kaya mo ba?"

I seriously didn't think he'd be able to pay for it. That's why I decided to work and took another route in my life. Instead of taking Med school, I decided to take a Masteral degree... And with a couple of units left and a dreaded thesis, I am currently on AWOL after I took one sem on LOA... 

This has been a frequent discussion between me and my dad. Had I not stopped school (my Masters), we wouldn't be talking about this issue over and ove. He kept on asking me why did I stop. Why was I not planning to finish it. And all that. But I never did answer any of them...

When I talked to one of my MS (Master of Science) friends, she asked me, when was I coming back. I honestly told her that I wasn't coming back. Nor did I have planning of finishing it or getting a degree. And with her I was able to open up the reason why. 

"I just lost the passion. Perhaps the momentum as well."

I dunno. I just don't feel like studying what I was taking. But sometimes when I see those articles on Wikipedia, those scientific articles and journals archived in my hard drives and the collection of books I have amassed, I always get this exciting feeling of knowing things that I needed to know. The pressure of working it. The fun after a long exhilarating week of lab work.

Last night I was talking to my bestfriend, he opened up the idea of me taking Medicine. Something he really wanted for me. Well, I guess he wanted me to be a doctor like I wanted him to be a Lawyer, that's why he's in Law School. I would really love to. But then, I am really absorbed by the fact that we might not be able to sustain my studies financially. And it may come to a point wherein I'd lost my passion again... Hope not.

Yeah, they'd told me that. Scholarship. But then, although I love being pressured, I feel the pressure is different. And I'm not as brilliant as others there. I once was offered a scholarship from a med school, but my brother and father did not agree to it. Probably because of the reputation. 

Waaah. Now my minds a blur. I dunno what to do. Anyways, I still have til June of next year to decide. For now, I'd concentrate on my work.




11 comments:

Mugen said...

My mom would always tell me to keep on walking no matter how unsure our destination is.

Kaya hayun, kahit wala akong pangarap, naglalakad ako sa buhay na tanging short distance lang ang nakikita ko.

Nakapasok ako ng Masters sa UP sa bisa ng tadhana, hahayaan kong ang tadhanang ito ang magdala sa kin kung saan man.

Matatagpuan mo rin ang iyong paroroonan, kaibigan.

joaqui_miguel said...

"I just lost the passion. Perhaps the momentum as well."

This is so hard. It happened to me as well when I was a junior in college. I did not want to continue with my course but then my mom did not want me to quit even though I asked for a semester off. Somehow, I am grateful I did not stop because I would have been too lazy to go back (knowing myself, that could happen).

Discern bro on what you really want to happen to your life and where you see yourself happy. If the people around you will see that you are happy I'm sure they will be happy for you too. :)

Ronnan Tristan said...

I agree!!! I was in college for freekin' 5 and half years dahil pa shift shift ako ng kurso... minsan nakakawalang gana din hehehe...

Keri lang yan!!! gow lang ng gow!!!

Aris said...

friend, watch mo "the secret". you may just find some answers and inspiration there. :)

erin de la cruz said...

oh....

oh..........................

ah................................


=)

consider latvia. the education there is way cheaper than us. i am thinking of pursuing my master's abroad. well, thinking...

Chyng said...

"I just lost the passion. Perhaps the momentum as well."

this is true for me! sometimes i like to study again, but i think it's harder this time- or tamad lang ako?!

pray... and goodluck to you! ;)

yffar said...

Proposed Names:
A. Pink Bloggers Community
B. The Pink Chronicles
C. Rainbow Blogs Philippines
D. Other suggested names that may arise

Goal:
To create a united community of Filipino LGBT Bloggers, that may act as an organization for aspiring LGBT writers and hone their skills by guiding , recognizing their works, and inspiring them to pursue an inner motivation for blogging whether it’s personal, informative or other reasons why they created their blog.

Functions:
a. Making a LGBT Bloggers Directory
b. Providing Weekly Reviews
c. Creating a weekly/ Monthly Award
d. Organizing a Monthly/Weekly chat conference
e. Gathering in an Annual/ Quarterly Eyeball
f. Participating in LGBT Advocacies

Proposed Committees:
a. Marketing and Networking. A separate committee shall search for potential blogs that can join the community and communicate with possible allies such as organizations, publications, etc. that may help in pursuing the goals of the said community.

b. Membership. A committee shall handle possible members of the community and review the contents of the blog whether it is related to the LGBT category or not. Upon approval of the committee, the blog shall now be placed in the Directory.

c. Reviews. A committee will have to conduct weekly reviews on a certain blog about the good features of the blog. Negative feedbacks to improve the blog shall not be posted on the review, it will be discussed in a private manner such as a personal mail to the author by the reviewer. The committee must ensure that all blogs shall be given a review. A member of the committee shall not create a review of his own blog.
d. Events. The committee shall create monthly events that will focus on the interactions between memb ers of the community. Such activities may be held online, via chat/conference, or in a general assembly/ eyeball gathering.

e. Awards. This committee shall conduct a surveys/poll sor other contest s that may recognize the LGBT blogger and his site, e.g. Pink Blog of the Week, or annual LGBT Blog Awards. The committee must have no bias in giving out awards.

f. Web Masters. This committee shall be composed of the committee heads of each team that may discuss on the overall design of the website, input necessary information, create posts, and act as the executive heads of the said community.

g. Other committees shall be created and some proposed above may be dissolved depending on the actual need of the community.

Provisions
a. As a part of the LGBT community, ethical principles must be upheld and violators of the community rules shall cause a member’s blog be out of the directory and he/she will be removed as a member of the said community. Possible violations: Plagiarism, Libel, etc.
b. It will be the discretion of the committee heads if they will include a blog that contains pornography or simple nudity. Proper judgment shall be applied.
c. Other provisions that might arise shall be discussed upon the completion of the said community.

Bloggers that agreed on the creation of the community:
a. Kiks of ABBA
b. Lyka Bergen of The Lyka Bergen Show
c. Mrs J of The Reigning Mizis
d. Jericho of Kape’t Yosi
e. Wilberchie of Wilberchie’s World
f. Yffar of The Rainbow Halohalo Project
g. other bloggers are all welcome to help in building this new community.

comment @ http://rainbowhalohalo.blogspot.com/2008/09/pink-bloggers-community.html

Looking For The Source said...

@mugen and joaqui_miguel

hay. mga mom's tlga. now i suddenly missed my mom. although nasa baba lang sya. when everythings doesnt go well with our dads, our mom's always to the rescue...

...mommy's boi...

@ronnan tristan

yeah. gow lang ng gow. keep walking. kahit walang patutunguhan...

@aris

cge i'll watch that. hopefully, may sagot dun...

@erin

hay naku. sana lang nu. mahirap lang kami. pagpunta nga dun wala eh. he he..

@chyng

minsan tlga katamaran lang. may mga times na parang ung passion mo biglang bumabalik then after sometime, nawawala.. take for example pag nanonood ako ng grey's or ng house.. or pag nababasa ko blogs nila doc mcfitch and eugene.. biglang naiisip ko, gusto kong magmed... i miss the stress and the pressure..

@raffy

thanks for the invitation. i'll be thinking about that.

prinsesamusang said...

hmmm... kung ako, go ka na bongga kaya!

ArchieMD said...

What our future holds depends on every step we are taking. It may take sometime for us to see the road ahead, but big things come to those who take their time - those who know what they want to do and who listen to what their hearts are saying.

Medicine is still one of the noblest professions. Only the people who have the passion and interest for the science and art of healing would survive medical school and medical practice. This is not Grey's Anatomy or House - believe me, it's different. Sometimes, the only thing that doctors have are the two big letters attached to their names.

Being a physician is a calling and it is not for the weak of heart. It requires passion, interest and a hell lot of guts.

And one more thing... you don't need a lot of money to enter medical school. All you need is the drive to do it. Scholarships help. A good NMAT score (>95) will get you everywhere. The best medical school in the land has one of the lowest tuition fees! (Wink)I tell you this, having a Master's degree is an asset when you apply for medical school... especially in __.

So if you really want to pursue medicine, go for it. But think twice (x several times) before you take that first step. Because when you are already on that path, there is no turning back.

Looking For The Source said...

@archiemd... actually maayos ang NMAT ko. infairness 98 yon ha. pinaghirapan ko. kaso make or break ako non. as in isang school lang ang target ko. alam mo na kung san yun. eh since hindi ako pumasa sa initial screening nila. ayun wala na.

tapos one school was offering me a scholarship. ayaw nga lang ng dad and bro ko kasi parang may mga issue issue daw sa school na yon. hayz.

goodluck sa kin...