we sacrifice not because we are too afraid of what will happen.
we sacrifice because we believe there is something better for us.
we sacrifice because we believe there is something better for us.
6 years ago
A Dot in the Universe...
- Looking For The Source
- are you looking for me? or am i supposed to look for you?
Showing posts with label Life's Harsh Realities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life's Harsh Realities. Show all posts
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
sHouTouTs from tHe soUrcE (#2)
you know the good thing about feeling pain?
is the fact that you're still being true to yourself...
Friday, March 5, 2010
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I Love, You Love...
When I got to listen to this song, I felt connected to it. Something in the words that John Legend wrote made me set my minds into deep thoughts.
In a failing relationship, or a relationship nearing its unfortunate end, there are always two sides - one who is willing to let go, and someone who doesn't or let's say "can't let go." And as most of you won't agree, it will always be the latter whose on the losing game. They are the people who tends to get hurt the most, who probably cries the most and will probably be the ones who will move on the longest.
Would this be good enough to say that the losing side have loved more than the other one?
Consider me biased, but I would say "yes." Although not all the time, but MOST of the time. Consider this logic (or if it even makes logic at all), if the other side has loved as much as the losing side, would they even have doubts of letting go. Love isn't a "maybe" or "i'll think about it." It is either a concrete YES or a concrete NO. Those are the only options. The former may have loved the latter but for sure it is the latter that have love the most.
Most of you would think I am stupid. Or illogical. Or whatever. That what I am trying to say is just the basic setup.. that love is complicated. But isn't it that the only main thing that binds a relationship is love? Would you have a relationship with someone without love?
What's so hard about the losing side is that they tend to keep the faith. And hope. And hold on. And why would the latter hold on for someone that has let go.. someone that has left them hurting... and grieving.. Isn't the pain enough for them to let go? Does the pain brought to them give them justice? Or maybe, just maybe, at an unknown and unexpected spur of a moment - something will happen - a twist of fate, a miracle in the sky or a rainbow after the storm. But in the end, all they get are failed expectations, false hopes and deeper feeling of pain, only to realize that their love story isn't like fairytales and love stories and life has indeed played unfair to them. And they simply have no choice but to accept it, cry it out and move on, hoping the next time they take the ride, nobody leaves no one.
But how do we know when to stop? Do you close yourself to the idea of hoping? Or stop when we have been hurt enough, not by the former, but by yourself?
Do you we even hope in the first place?
-1R4P3-
In a failing relationship, or a relationship nearing its unfortunate end, there are always two sides - one who is willing to let go, and someone who doesn't or let's say "can't let go." And as most of you won't agree, it will always be the latter whose on the losing game. They are the people who tends to get hurt the most, who probably cries the most and will probably be the ones who will move on the longest.
Would this be good enough to say that the losing side have loved more than the other one?
Consider me biased, but I would say "yes." Although not all the time, but MOST of the time. Consider this logic (or if it even makes logic at all), if the other side has loved as much as the losing side, would they even have doubts of letting go. Love isn't a "maybe" or "i'll think about it." It is either a concrete YES or a concrete NO. Those are the only options. The former may have loved the latter but for sure it is the latter that have love the most.
Most of you would think I am stupid. Or illogical. Or whatever. That what I am trying to say is just the basic setup.. that love is complicated. But isn't it that the only main thing that binds a relationship is love? Would you have a relationship with someone without love?
What's so hard about the losing side is that they tend to keep the faith. And hope. And hold on. And why would the latter hold on for someone that has let go.. someone that has left them hurting... and grieving.. Isn't the pain enough for them to let go? Does the pain brought to them give them justice? Or maybe, just maybe, at an unknown and unexpected spur of a moment - something will happen - a twist of fate, a miracle in the sky or a rainbow after the storm. But in the end, all they get are failed expectations, false hopes and deeper feeling of pain, only to realize that their love story isn't like fairytales and love stories and life has indeed played unfair to them. And they simply have no choice but to accept it, cry it out and move on, hoping the next time they take the ride, nobody leaves no one.
But how do we know when to stop? Do you close yourself to the idea of hoping? Or stop when we have been hurt enough, not by the former, but by yourself?
Do you we even hope in the first place?
-1R4P3-
Sunday, August 23, 2009
S.A.D.
when you look at your friends with their partners,
you smile and be happy for them,
but at the back of our minds we say,
"Sana Ako Din..."
you smile and be happy for them,
but at the back of our minds we say,
"Sana Ako Din..."
Saturday, August 15, 2009
So many questions....
1. Why is it that everytime I'd try to move on, you'd always call my name back?
2. Why is it that everytime you call my name back, I'd tell myself, "I am not moving on."?
3. Why is it that everytime you don't make a move, I miss you a lot?
4. Why is it that everytime I miss you a lot, I get so paranoid?
5. Why is it that everytime I end up waiting, I turn from patient to bitter?
6. Why is it that everytime I get mad at you, it never shows?
7. Why is it that despite the madness I feel, just one touch from you, and everything I hated about you just disappears?
8. Why is it that I feel hurt but I don't wanna stop the pain?
9. Why do I hate that I love you?
10. Why you?
2. Why is it that everytime you call my name back, I'd tell myself, "I am not moving on."?
3. Why is it that everytime you don't make a move, I miss you a lot?
4. Why is it that everytime I miss you a lot, I get so paranoid?
5. Why is it that everytime I end up waiting, I turn from patient to bitter?
6. Why is it that everytime I get mad at you, it never shows?
7. Why is it that despite the madness I feel, just one touch from you, and everything I hated about you just disappears?
8. Why is it that I feel hurt but I don't wanna stop the pain?
9. Why do I hate that I love you?
10. Why you?
Monday, August 3, 2009
Tick!
it all starts with YOU. YOU being single and alone, needs to feel that YOU are loved. cared for. someone to be with. someone to talk to. a friend, but YOU seriously needed more than that.
YOU surfed. signed in to every social networking site YOU know of - pinoyg4m, manjam, dudesnude, downelink, planetromeo, and YOU even still be wishing fabuloush was still up and running, and checked.. stared through pictures and videos made available. YOU logged on to your favorite mirc chatrooms - bi-manila and salsalan - just to find what YOU are looking for.
"hi, just read your profile. i find YOU interesting. blah blah blah. maybe we can chat sometime... here's my YM id.. talk to YOU soon..."
"im looking for someone to chat with. sensible guy here..."
it's taking YOU hours to find one. or perhaps to get a reply. YOU ran out of manjam viewing slots for the day coz YOU are not a premium member. your eyes get sore reading long but useless profiles. YOU get stucked with guys YOU know YOU can never have. YOU open links with pictures of a hot guy but then he is only looking for sex.. a j/o buddy or an SOP...
after a few hours of uneventful searching, YOU finally realize to end the day. maybe tomorrow, luck will finally struck you. but before YOU hit the signout button of one of the networking sites, a pink box shows up and says, "YOU have a message" eager to know who was that guy, YOU clicked on "yes" to read the message..
"hi there. thanks for sending me a message. here's my YM id. i'm online now..."
apparently, luck has struck YOU earlier than expected. YOU immediately opened up your YM messenger and added him up. and ping. YOU are now talking to each other. a smooth conversation comes between the both of YOU. YOU talk about anything under the sun, the basics, the usual NASLs and just everything "discussable.." unfortunately, one has to go. and it wasn't you. YOU certainly hoped that the conversation wouldn't end even if work was waiting for YOU the next day.
"can i have your number?"
YOU, without hesitations gave your number.. hoping he'd give YOU a ring or something.. and then there was goodbye. YOU never got the chance to get his number. your work has paid off. YOU are gonna be sleeping soundly and with a smile tonight. but before the bed bugs started to bite, YOU feel your cellphone vibrating. it was him. it was just a number, but YOU certainly know it was him. your instinct never failed you.
the conversation continued. its like the night would never end. YOU were finishing each other's sentences and filling up each others interests. the guy decided it was better off done over the phone, so he asks for your home phone. "message sent" then your landline starts ringing.
after realizing that YOU really needed to end the day, coz it was actually starting, there goes the long goodbye. YOU feel the chills on your spine, YOU feel the goosebumps and YOU noticed that your heart quite skipped a beat.
the next day YOU started the morning wth happiness and eagerness. YOU pick up your phone. checked for new messages. ignored every message until YOU find his. and there it was. YOU felt so happy he never forgot YOU. YOU read his message over and over again. mumbling. and smiling. your like one anime character with hearts on his eyes and superblushy cheeks. YOU cant concentrate coz YOU are thinking of him. YOU been caught staring at your computer screen but YOU say "what the heck!"
after a few exchange of SMSs YOU realize he wasn't replying anymore. YOU tell yourself that he might just be busy. he might just be doing something else. or perhaps, he must have run out of battery power. YOU decide to let this pass. a few hours later, YOU decided to send him a message. eagerly waited for a reply, but again. no respone. YOU again tell yourself reasons. be patient. YOU end the day no getting any message from him. YOU feel sad. YOU feel lonely. YOU start to lose patiience.
YOU tried to reach out through his social networking account. YOU send him message. gentle messages. "how are you?" "why haven't YOU replied?" "are YOU busy?" he's not online. maybe he'll reply the moment he gets it. again, YOU tried to make patience a virtue. YOU sent him a bunch of undemanding SMSs. still no reply. YOU tried to call him through his phone - busy tone.
another day has passed, YOU checked on your account - no replies. YOU tried to call him, no answer. YOU start to become a ticking bomb, yet YOU realize that was not gonna help. so YOU try to think. to reason out his actions. maybe he lost his phone. maybe he doesnt have phone credits. may his phone was stolen. or maybe he broke his phone. your imagination goes way out of reality to rationalize what's happening.
your patience is over. YOU are mad. but apparently don't have reasons to. YOU send him another set of messages. "why won't YOU talk to me..." "did i do something wrong?" "why have't YOU replied?" "just tell me if YOU don't want me around?" "is it to hard for YOU to reply?" YOU opened your YM and started messaging him the same messages. a few minutes later, he gets online. YOU realize he has read your messages but never replied to them. then his YM ID shows online, YOU started asking him the same questions. YOU have become naughtier. more impatient. and bitter. 30 minutes have passed. a bunch of messages. a bunch of pings and buzzes. no reply. an hour, and YOU still haven't given up. and hour and a half. 2 hours...
"what? im busy"
"so spare me now okay"
YOU felt a drop of water roll down your cheeks. goosebumps started getting back but it wasn't the same as before. YOU realize tonight will be one of your worst nights ever.
it wasn't YOU who was the ticking bomb. it was him. YOU have made him a ticking bomb. YOU realize that it was over. it was never over, cause it never even started...
...some things are just better left unknown...
YOU surfed. signed in to every social networking site YOU know of - pinoyg4m, manjam, dudesnude, downelink, planetromeo, and YOU even still be wishing fabuloush was still up and running, and checked.. stared through pictures and videos made available. YOU logged on to your favorite mirc chatrooms - bi-manila and salsalan - just to find what YOU are looking for.
"hi, just read your profile. i find YOU interesting. blah blah blah. maybe we can chat sometime... here's my YM id.. talk to YOU soon..."
"im looking for someone to chat with. sensible guy here..."
it's taking YOU hours to find one. or perhaps to get a reply. YOU ran out of manjam viewing slots for the day coz YOU are not a premium member. your eyes get sore reading long but useless profiles. YOU get stucked with guys YOU know YOU can never have. YOU open links with pictures of a hot guy but then he is only looking for sex.. a j/o buddy or an SOP...
after a few hours of uneventful searching, YOU finally realize to end the day. maybe tomorrow, luck will finally struck you. but before YOU hit the signout button of one of the networking sites, a pink box shows up and says, "YOU have a message" eager to know who was that guy, YOU clicked on "yes" to read the message..
"hi there. thanks for sending me a message. here's my YM id. i'm online now..."
apparently, luck has struck YOU earlier than expected. YOU immediately opened up your YM messenger and added him up. and ping. YOU are now talking to each other. a smooth conversation comes between the both of YOU. YOU talk about anything under the sun, the basics, the usual NASLs and just everything "discussable.." unfortunately, one has to go. and it wasn't you. YOU certainly hoped that the conversation wouldn't end even if work was waiting for YOU the next day.
"can i have your number?"
YOU, without hesitations gave your number.. hoping he'd give YOU a ring or something.. and then there was goodbye. YOU never got the chance to get his number. your work has paid off. YOU are gonna be sleeping soundly and with a smile tonight. but before the bed bugs started to bite, YOU feel your cellphone vibrating. it was him. it was just a number, but YOU certainly know it was him. your instinct never failed you.
the conversation continued. its like the night would never end. YOU were finishing each other's sentences and filling up each others interests. the guy decided it was better off done over the phone, so he asks for your home phone. "message sent" then your landline starts ringing.
after realizing that YOU really needed to end the day, coz it was actually starting, there goes the long goodbye. YOU feel the chills on your spine, YOU feel the goosebumps and YOU noticed that your heart quite skipped a beat.
the next day YOU started the morning wth happiness and eagerness. YOU pick up your phone. checked for new messages. ignored every message until YOU find his. and there it was. YOU felt so happy he never forgot YOU. YOU read his message over and over again. mumbling. and smiling. your like one anime character with hearts on his eyes and superblushy cheeks. YOU cant concentrate coz YOU are thinking of him. YOU been caught staring at your computer screen but YOU say "what the heck!"
after a few exchange of SMSs YOU realize he wasn't replying anymore. YOU tell yourself that he might just be busy. he might just be doing something else. or perhaps, he must have run out of battery power. YOU decide to let this pass. a few hours later, YOU decided to send him a message. eagerly waited for a reply, but again. no respone. YOU again tell yourself reasons. be patient. YOU end the day no getting any message from him. YOU feel sad. YOU feel lonely. YOU start to lose patiience.
YOU tried to reach out through his social networking account. YOU send him message. gentle messages. "how are you?" "why haven't YOU replied?" "are YOU busy?" he's not online. maybe he'll reply the moment he gets it. again, YOU tried to make patience a virtue. YOU sent him a bunch of undemanding SMSs. still no reply. YOU tried to call him through his phone - busy tone.
another day has passed, YOU checked on your account - no replies. YOU tried to call him, no answer. YOU start to become a ticking bomb, yet YOU realize that was not gonna help. so YOU try to think. to reason out his actions. maybe he lost his phone. maybe he doesnt have phone credits. may his phone was stolen. or maybe he broke his phone. your imagination goes way out of reality to rationalize what's happening.
your patience is over. YOU are mad. but apparently don't have reasons to. YOU send him another set of messages. "why won't YOU talk to me..." "did i do something wrong?" "why have't YOU replied?" "just tell me if YOU don't want me around?" "is it to hard for YOU to reply?" YOU opened your YM and started messaging him the same messages. a few minutes later, he gets online. YOU realize he has read your messages but never replied to them. then his YM ID shows online, YOU started asking him the same questions. YOU have become naughtier. more impatient. and bitter. 30 minutes have passed. a bunch of messages. a bunch of pings and buzzes. no reply. an hour, and YOU still haven't given up. and hour and a half. 2 hours...
"what? im busy"
"so spare me now okay"
YOU felt a drop of water roll down your cheeks. goosebumps started getting back but it wasn't the same as before. YOU realize tonight will be one of your worst nights ever.
it wasn't YOU who was the ticking bomb. it was him. YOU have made him a ticking bomb. YOU realize that it was over. it was never over, cause it never even started...
...some things are just better left unknown...
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
WOW!
It was the day the Davids were set to wow Filipino when I learned that they reopened this social networking site. Since the initial version did not held up, as expected, they required everybody, including previous members to sign-up or register as they did before.
And me, being a previous member and a social networking fan, did sign up. And as soon as I had finished my profile, I did what everybody in the site was doing, I socialized. So, I started going through people - their pictures and their profiles. And if they are interesting, physically, socially, emotionally and everything-in between-wise, I'd do the click and add them as my friend.
There was this one guy who I guess stood out among the people I added up. On top of the visual pleasure, what he had in his profile was very much cool. It wasn't nicely written, although thoughts were coherently made avaiable to those made time reading profile's first. I guess the genuine content of his profile was a plus factor too. So I made the "click" and added him up..
A few minutes, or a few hours after, he approved my invite. And he left a comment as well..
"hehe natuwa ako sa profile mu ahh.. sayang parehas taung mahiyain...ala lang.. natuwa lang ako..thanks 4 d'invite/.fellow loner.."
Yes. He the shy type. I am a shy type. The silent one. Someone who listens more than talking. And a loner. And if I were to find a twin in those aspects, he'd certainly be the perfect one.
I admit, I liked him. And so to get to know him... And reach out... And become a little more sociable and less a loner, I sent him a message, a message that just doesn't say "hi" or "hello", "musta" or even "how's life?"
"has it always been fun being a loner?"
It was my opening line which started a short but rather great conversation. Something more than an exchange of ASLs, numbers and IM handles.. Way different than talks about sexual preferences, experiences and positions... And something more than "ok" "oic" and :) as replies... It was all about what we are, the fellow loners..
Until he said that he didn't regret that being a loner for he found someone.. his someone... and they have been together for six and a half years... with another loner...
"cguro sa pagiging loner ko di ako nahirapan na maattach sa isang loner guy din.. "
...
"wow... six and a half years... wow... nice.. that's nice... "
"you may be a loner.. but a lucky guy.. "
At that moment, I had defined the word "WOW" as a heart-breaking, deeply saddening ouch!
(You should have remembered that he wasn't looking for a partner. He clearly stated that in his profile, dumbass!)
The conversation didn't go that long, for I was getting late for the concert. (Damn, concerts are now starting on time!) I logged out of the site and turned of the pc, took a shower, got dressed up and hoped that the David's would bring back the original meaning of the word wow..
I just opened his account today and saw a newly posted picture.. him and someone else (I assume his partner) kissing...
WOW!
(written with Regine Velasquez's Sa Piling Mo as the background music)
And me, being a previous member and a social networking fan, did sign up. And as soon as I had finished my profile, I did what everybody in the site was doing, I socialized. So, I started going through people - their pictures and their profiles. And if they are interesting, physically, socially, emotionally and everything-in between-wise, I'd do the click and add them as my friend.
There was this one guy who I guess stood out among the people I added up. On top of the visual pleasure, what he had in his profile was very much cool. It wasn't nicely written, although thoughts were coherently made avaiable to those made time reading profile's first. I guess the genuine content of his profile was a plus factor too. So I made the "click" and added him up..
A few minutes, or a few hours after, he approved my invite. And he left a comment as well..
"hehe natuwa ako sa profile mu ahh.. sayang parehas taung mahiyain...ala lang.. natuwa lang ako..thanks 4 d'invite/.fellow loner.."
Yes. He the shy type. I am a shy type. The silent one. Someone who listens more than talking. And a loner. And if I were to find a twin in those aspects, he'd certainly be the perfect one.
I admit, I liked him. And so to get to know him... And reach out... And become a little more sociable and less a loner, I sent him a message, a message that just doesn't say "hi" or "hello", "musta" or even "how's life?"
"has it always been fun being a loner?"
It was my opening line which started a short but rather great conversation. Something more than an exchange of ASLs, numbers and IM handles.. Way different than talks about sexual preferences, experiences and positions... And something more than "ok" "oic" and :) as replies... It was all about what we are, the fellow loners..
Until he said that he didn't regret that being a loner for he found someone.. his someone... and they have been together for six and a half years... with another loner...
"cguro sa pagiging loner ko di ako nahirapan na maattach sa isang loner guy din.. "
...
"wow... six and a half years... wow... nice.. that's nice... "
"you may be a loner.. but a lucky guy.. "
At that moment, I had defined the word "WOW" as a heart-breaking, deeply saddening ouch!
(You should have remembered that he wasn't looking for a partner. He clearly stated that in his profile, dumbass!)
The conversation didn't go that long, for I was getting late for the concert. (Damn, concerts are now starting on time!) I logged out of the site and turned of the pc, took a shower, got dressed up and hoped that the David's would bring back the original meaning of the word wow..
I just opened his account today and saw a newly posted picture.. him and someone else (I assume his partner) kissing...
WOW!
(written with Regine Velasquez's Sa Piling Mo as the background music)
Monday, April 20, 2009
Quick Peek..
I can fairly describe last week as my most irritating! I had a lot of irritating moments that I just can't over it...
Let me tell you why...
FIRST! The heat... The EXCRUCIATING heat. Yeah, I know its summer and we are all supposed to enjoy the heat and the sun. Oh no! Not me. I hate the sun. Ever since the uber-hot, record-making temperature a few days ago, it appears that it keeps getting hotter and hotter... Ang init!!!! Never did I woke up dry.. (Not because I had wet dreams! Ha ha!)
SECOND... The MRT... In the MRT, most of the benches could only accomodate 5 persons. In the event that the persons seated are slim or skinny, another slot could be available. However, kung isa sa 5 umupo eh naiwan sa kusina, may makakaupo pa naman, hindi nga lang sya makakasandal... When I rode the MRT last night... a fat guy took the sixth slot. Ang nakakainis dun, pinipilit pa nyang sumandal, can't you see hindi na magkasya... Tapos sya pa ang may ganang mag-make face. Papayat ka kaya...
(And what's gross about it, if a sweaty guy/girl is about to fit himself/herself to the slot... and piliting sumandal... and his / her sweaty armpit or arms gets in contact with you... all fresh and all perfumed up.. just imagine (ew!)
THIRD... Bitches... Male bitches! I'm a convicted bitch, there's no doubt and contest about it. However, I don't do what this bitch just did... When I was in Trinoma last Sunday with a friend of mine.. we were about to enter FnH, this star-studded guy stared at me from head to toe. Not in a simple curious way, but in a "hey-you-stupid-guy-bitch-that-looks-like-"eeew!"-i'm-still-the-diva-so-back-off!" way. I would normally dismiss it and moved on. But then he did it again in a "you-didn't-get-what-i-am-saying-you-damn-bitch...-oh-yes-i-am-the-diva-so-get-out-of-my-way!!" way. WTF! Again, I dismissed it (I'm to build patience!). So we went inside the store. Checked out a couple of shirts and went out. Everything was supposed to be fine but... WTF! He was there again, doing it for the third time in a "what-the-fuck-you're-still-here-bitch?-aren't-you-gonna-stay-out-of-my-way-huh?-make-way-for-the-diva-bitch!" way! This made me boiling hot...
You don't have any right to look at me that way... First, I ain't flaunting or trying to make papansin.. or to impress you... Second, hindi ka ka-gwapuhan! (baka gusto mo bayaran ko pa treatment mo! - and kahit ikaw pa ultimate crush ko, baka sampalin pa kita jan) And third, wala akong ginagawa sau no. (feeling ka!)
.......you know what I did? I dismissed it...
FOURTH... People who doesn't have the decency to reply when they initially started an important conversation. A few days ago, a Recruitment Officer sent me a text message asking if I still wanted to pursue an internal job application for a position I applied for which I then retracted, she asked for my preferred time to be interviewed over the phone which would happen on April 16. (Take note, the message was sent APRIL 16!!). With nothing to lose and a chance to get the promotion, I replied that I'd love to do the it and gave a time frame for the interview. I then followed up with another message asking if it was "tonight" (time message was received was in the afternoon) or "tomorrow."
....Two days passed. No interview. No reply from her. Pasalmat sya marami akong ginagawa these past two days at hindi ko sya ma-email. Lagot sya sakin sa Lunes. Red email ka sakin... CC ko pa sa mga manager! Tsk tsk!
AND THE LAST... Mga taong demanding... at mga taong di marunong mag-appreciate... We were asked to renovate the Site Board... for the client visit... Syempre, di ka naman pwedeng tumanggi dahil manager yung nagequest. With the deadline set at the end of the day... limited resources... three appointed persons and another wall waiting to be renovated... and the regular pile-up of reports... Sino ba namang hindi ma-iistress? Masakit mag-stretch ng braso ng lalo na't hindi pantay ung ginagawa mo, diba?
Pinasa ko na nga sa kasama ko ung reports ko para magawa ko to... And I have been doing this since the start of my shift, tapos hihiritan mo ako ng "ang tagal"?!?! Eh kung ikaw kaya gumawa nito? Baka nakaalis na at nakabalik na ng US ung client hindi ka pa tapos dyan. And take note when I said I'll finish this EOD, I said "hopefully" by the EOD! Sana a little consideration naman diba? Hindi nmn kasi ikaw ang phsyical na gumagawa neto eh. Nag-uutos ka lang...
I think you know kung sino yung taong di marunong mag-appreciate. She never uttered the words "thank you" from the time we started this shit. I know, its part of the job ("any task that will be given by the lead"), but then again, mas masaya at mas nakakatuwa at nakakagaan ng feeling na kahit pagod ka na.. may nakaka-appreciate pa diba? Much more kung ung taong yon eh yung nag-utos sau...
I'm looking forward to a happy week! Hopefully! :)
Let me tell you why...
FIRST! The heat... The EXCRUCIATING heat. Yeah, I know its summer and we are all supposed to enjoy the heat and the sun. Oh no! Not me. I hate the sun. Ever since the uber-hot, record-making temperature a few days ago, it appears that it keeps getting hotter and hotter... Ang init!!!! Never did I woke up dry.. (Not because I had wet dreams! Ha ha!)
SECOND... The MRT... In the MRT, most of the benches could only accomodate 5 persons. In the event that the persons seated are slim or skinny, another slot could be available. However, kung isa sa 5 umupo eh naiwan sa kusina, may makakaupo pa naman, hindi nga lang sya makakasandal... When I rode the MRT last night... a fat guy took the sixth slot. Ang nakakainis dun, pinipilit pa nyang sumandal, can't you see hindi na magkasya... Tapos sya pa ang may ganang mag-make face. Papayat ka kaya...
(And what's gross about it, if a sweaty guy/girl is about to fit himself/herself to the slot... and piliting sumandal... and his / her sweaty armpit or arms gets in contact with you... all fresh and all perfumed up.. just imagine (ew!)
THIRD... Bitches... Male bitches! I'm a convicted bitch, there's no doubt and contest about it. However, I don't do what this bitch just did... When I was in Trinoma last Sunday with a friend of mine.. we were about to enter FnH, this star-studded guy stared at me from head to toe. Not in a simple curious way, but in a "hey-you-stupid-guy-bitch-that-looks-like-"eeew!"-i'm-still-the-diva-so-back-off!" way. I would normally dismiss it and moved on. But then he did it again in a "you-didn't-get-what-i-am-saying-you-damn-bitch...-oh-yes-i-am-the-diva-so-get-out-of-my-way!!" way. WTF! Again, I dismissed it (I'm to build patience!). So we went inside the store. Checked out a couple of shirts and went out. Everything was supposed to be fine but... WTF! He was there again, doing it for the third time in a "what-the-fuck-you're-still-here-bitch?-aren't-you-gonna-stay-out-of-my-way-huh?-make-way-for-the-diva-bitch!" way! This made me boiling hot...
You don't have any right to look at me that way... First, I ain't flaunting or trying to make papansin.. or to impress you... Second, hindi ka ka-gwapuhan! (baka gusto mo bayaran ko pa treatment mo! - and kahit ikaw pa ultimate crush ko, baka sampalin pa kita jan) And third, wala akong ginagawa sau no. (feeling ka!)
.......you know what I did? I dismissed it...
FOURTH... People who doesn't have the decency to reply when they initially started an important conversation. A few days ago, a Recruitment Officer sent me a text message asking if I still wanted to pursue an internal job application for a position I applied for which I then retracted, she asked for my preferred time to be interviewed over the phone which would happen on April 16. (Take note, the message was sent APRIL 16!!). With nothing to lose and a chance to get the promotion, I replied that I'd love to do the it and gave a time frame for the interview. I then followed up with another message asking if it was "tonight" (time message was received was in the afternoon) or "tomorrow."
....Two days passed. No interview. No reply from her. Pasalmat sya marami akong ginagawa these past two days at hindi ko sya ma-email. Lagot sya sakin sa Lunes. Red email ka sakin... CC ko pa sa mga manager! Tsk tsk!
AND THE LAST... Mga taong demanding... at mga taong di marunong mag-appreciate... We were asked to renovate the Site Board... for the client visit... Syempre, di ka naman pwedeng tumanggi dahil manager yung nagequest. With the deadline set at the end of the day... limited resources... three appointed persons and another wall waiting to be renovated... and the regular pile-up of reports... Sino ba namang hindi ma-iistress? Masakit mag-stretch ng braso ng lalo na't hindi pantay ung ginagawa mo, diba?
Pinasa ko na nga sa kasama ko ung reports ko para magawa ko to... And I have been doing this since the start of my shift, tapos hihiritan mo ako ng "ang tagal"?!?! Eh kung ikaw kaya gumawa nito? Baka nakaalis na at nakabalik na ng US ung client hindi ka pa tapos dyan. And take note when I said I'll finish this EOD, I said "hopefully" by the EOD! Sana a little consideration naman diba? Hindi nmn kasi ikaw ang phsyical na gumagawa neto eh. Nag-uutos ka lang...
I think you know kung sino yung taong di marunong mag-appreciate. She never uttered the words "thank you" from the time we started this shit. I know, its part of the job ("any task that will be given by the lead"), but then again, mas masaya at mas nakakatuwa at nakakagaan ng feeling na kahit pagod ka na.. may nakaka-appreciate pa diba? Much more kung ung taong yon eh yung nag-utos sau...
I'm looking forward to a happy week! Hopefully! :)
Friday, November 14, 2008
Grrrr!
i was about to write about happy mornings when i decided not to.
dahil naiinis ako.
you wanna know why?
philippine taxes! damn it.
instead of being happy and merry dahil, yey! sweldo na.. 13th month and all that... you suddenly see your taxes!
shit!
and now, ang perang ilalaan sa mga bagay-bagay na dapat paglaanan, will just go down the drain and end up on motherfucking stupid politicians' purses and pockets!
my hard-earned money, only to feed their stupid asses?
that's crap!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The Day
"Now I am calling it a day. I don't know, maybe I should also "call it." Some things are just not meant to be. Things happen, you think you feel something, you hope he is feeling the same way, but the in the end you tend to realize, it is not the way it is supposed to be. Not everything is going to go your way. All the time, it wasn’t that way. No matter how it hurts, you tell yourself, it's ok. You be thankful for having R****** complete your day. And as usual, life goes on. The world moves on and so should you."
- The day I stopped believing in love at first sight.. or first talk..
and it always boils down to expectations..
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Naturally Boundless
i found this question in one of the conversations (one of the best conversations i had) i saved last year...
Although love is boundless, why would you define love outside its own natural definitions?
Thursday, December 20, 2007
10:11 PM
the guy i talked to said that he can never get serious with a guy. thinks that thinking of guys makes the person so gay. and he said that it is predetermined that he can't love a guy for his moral conscience will creep into him once he's in a relationship, thus leaving him no choice but to break up...
he believes in love within the boundaries of "social" acceptance or else you'll get rejected or hurt. and you'll feel the pain...
can you first tell me how love is defined naturally?
Monday, September 1, 2008
The Promise
It almost happens to me everytime. Sudden sadness. Kalungkutang walang dahilan. Walang pinaghuhugutan. Just plain sadness. For no reasons at all.
During these times, what I usually do is to soundtrip. You've made me stronger. Tanging Mahal. Bukas na lang kita mamahalin. The Last Time. and I remembered... my favorite...
The Promise
Say goodbye
When I can barely say goodnight
If I can hardly take my eyes from yours
How far can I go?
Walk away
The thought would never cross my mind
I couldn't turn my back on Spring or Fall
Your smile least of all
When I say always
I mean forever
I trust tomorrow as much as today
I am not afraid to say I love you
But I promise you
I'll never say goodbye
We're dancers
On a crowded floor
while other dancers leave from song to song
Our music goes on
On and on
And if I never leave your arms
I really would have traveled everywhere
For my world is there
When I say always
I mean forever
I trust tomorrow as much today
I am not afraid to say I love you
And I promise you
I'll never say goodbye
How could I ever say goodbye...
~
Say goodbye
When I can barely say goodnight
If I can hardly take my eyes from yours
How far can I go?
Walk away
The thought would never cross my mind
I couldn't turn my back on Spring or Fall
Your smile least of all
When I say always
I mean forever
I trust tomorrow as much as today
I am not afraid to say I love you
But I promise you
I'll never say goodbye
We're dancers
On a crowded floor
while other dancers leave from song to song
Our music goes on
On and on
And if I never leave your arms
I really would have traveled everywhere
For my world is there
When I say always
I mean forever
I trust tomorrow as much today
I am not afraid to say I love you
And I promise you
I'll never say goodbye
How could I ever say goodbye...
~
It appears that I'll be playing this song over and over. Until it brings me to dreamland. Hopefully, when I wake up, the sudden sadness is over.
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