The Formula

Hangover

i planned on getting drunk specially at this VL-allotted night. an event held on malate's hottest bar. and getting laid was always an option. so after meeting a couple of friends at araneta and pedro gil. off we go. the crowd hasn't thickened the way it should be. but at that moment, i can feel the energy. meeting a few folks here. meeting a lot of guys i missed. and being introduced to some other guys around. i was set to have a good time.

Plus

we went out, momentarily. to buy cancer sticks. and by that time the crowd has already blossomed into full spring. nevertheless, we tried to push our way into the crowd to get in the other side of the bar. i noticed that i can feel my earphone cord being lifted. thought it was just hooked on to something. but then as we along trying to get into the seemingly unpassable crowd, a strong pull was made with my earphone. being overly annoyed by what happened, i took my earphone and traced it til the end. unfortunately, it did end.

My

instinctively my hand reached for my left pocket. fuck. shit. oh my god. fuck. and like a hand with its own brain, my right hand reached for my right pocket. fuck. shit. fuck talaga. 

"shit. yung ipod and phone ko. shit. shit talaga."

i panicked. shit. shit. shit. its not so me panicking in these situations. i have been known to stay calm in most situations. but hell. yes. i am panicking. i am freaked out. and i am panicking. i rushed to the stairs. went up. passed through the hallway and went out. thinking he might be out there somewhere.

Withdrawal

i had another friend call my phone. not available. shit. this is shit. i was holding my earphones on my right hand. i was so angry and frustrated that i threw my earphones away. towards a pile of trash. and had not decided to get them. where am i gonna use it for anyways? it turned out that i just one of the few people inside who'll be leaving without a cellphone. the only difference i s, i'll be leaving the place without a cellphone and without an ipod.

Syndromes

as more friends knew what happened. i realized some of my friends were in the same boat too. time to build a lost cellphones club. damn. and at that moment everything just started going into my mind.

"sana mamatay na sya in 5 days" (and i specifically said 5 days). 

"sabihin nyo nang masama ang sinabi ko, pero mas masama pa rin sya."

it even came to a point that i said...

"sana pati asawa nya. anak nya. mahal nya sa buhay. wala akong pakialam. kung demonyohan lang ang laban, hindi ko sya uurungan.."

someone even joked by saying

"eh pano kung walang asawa un? beki pala?"

"eh di mamatay na bf nya!"

questions came..

"why does it have to happen to me..."

"what if i never came to this place.."

"what if... why..."

Equals

that night i decided to really get drunk. and a glass of blue frog did the job. plus the sounds and the moves helped. every now and then they'd hear me say "shet. phone ko..." shet... ipod ko" "fuck tlga... fuck tlga..."

i would reach on both of my pockets and i get nothing. a hollow space on the left. change on the right. 

up until this moment. as i write this post and recall that night. every now and then, i'll say those words. i'll be asking "what if's" like a prayer done over and over. 

was not even able to concentrate at my job last night. every now and then i utter the same old words. i'd try to get over it by saying "o wala bang ipod dyan?" "may binebenta bang disposable ipod dyan?"

i slept in a friend of my friend's house after the party. and on our way home. before we rode the jeep, i said...

this is... 

worse than a break-up...

final thoughts...

i've been in this shit before. it's my third time. but i guess this third time struck me the hardest. one, i wasn't even drunk when i was stolen. second, as others would say, "look at the bright side, there always something good in everything that's happening.." i can't think of any. and third, haven't had my phone and ipod for even a year!

or maybe i'm just overreacting. but hell. losing a phone (5310) and a 160 gb ipod video. and being single for this long. no, it's not overreacting. i'd rather go through a break-up than having a severe headache and a severe longing for things that has become literally your companion and has been taken away from you... more like a part of you has been taken away..

short rave!

and Z. hindi pa ako naglalandi non, ok?