Latest Mistake

[was originally written in the office, 4th of October 2009]

i am in no condition to work right now. not because i feel sick.. we'll, a little.. would a broken heart be included? but because i drank last night. three bottles of san mig light. i know you'd say, "oh c'mon, three bottles and you're drunk?" but for someone like me who haven't tasted a beer for years, i'd say i'd be drunk on the second. and with a pair of pants smelling like shit cause a friend on mine spilled beer on it, that has made going to work worse.

he brightened up my day. he came home from work and his smile was heavenly. i can definitely stare at his face for a long long time. he wasn't aloof when he sat down and ate his dinner. he was actually speaking up and laughing... and that felt really comfortable. however, he had to go to sleep, work had restrained him from joining our booze fest.

before we went to bed, i got to look at him. a sleeping angel indeed. i wanted to touch him, to caress him, to kiss him, but i just can't. apparently his reluctance to go any further with our budding relationship has created a wall that neither his housemate / my friend can break. now i know how the phrase "so close, yet so far" means.

before i left their house for work, i left a gift beside his pillow. it was a teddy bear, with a tear and a handkerchief which says "i miss you." i really wanted an "i'm sorry" bear - however i wasn't able to find one. i guess this must be the nearest.

i sent him a message the moment i arrived at work. saying that i left a gift for him, more like an apology for what happened before. he said he had forgotten it a long time ago. i asked him if we can go out again - a friendly date, perhaps. he said yes, as long as he is free. i do hope it happens.

before i went to their place, i had mandy moore's latest mistake on the loop on my ipod. i decided to change it to jordin sparks' one step at a time...

[i guess changing it to jordin's one step at a time was my latest mistake after all...]

Blog Tag

Hay. I noticed this na sa post ni Eugene, di ko binasa yung dulo. Tapos nakita ko sa blog ni Erin.. he was tagged by Eugene. Hala. Balik ako sa blog ni Eugene, was tagged too! Nyahaha. Anyways, gawin ko na rin..

1. When was your first kiss and where?
Sa isang sinehan sa Robinson's Ermita (yung old Rob Ermita pa.)

2. When was your first real relationship and how long did it last?
3 years ago. Basta.

3. What age were you allowed to date?
Meron bang ganyan?

4. What's the craziest thing you did (for love) when you were a teenager?
Wasnt a teenager when I was in love. I was 21 or 20 I think.

5. How long is your longest relationship and what's the secret?
Gaano nga ba katagal? Hmmm.. Secret yon. Di ko ugali magsabi ng ganyan about sa past ko. I dunno. Siguro respect na rin for my exes. Ha ha.

6. How long did you date before you decided to settle down?
No settling down yet. Not at this time.

7. How long did you know he was the ONE?
Wala pa nga eh. Meron ba?

8. Now, at what age will you allow your kid(s) to date? (if and only if I end up having kids)
I wanted twin boys. Hmmm.. So with boys, hindi masyadong strict. All they have to do is give me good grades. Graduate school. Get a good job. Then the rest is up to them.

9. When it comes to your kids dating, will you be a cool parent or a strict parent?
Cool. Ayoko ng strict. Reminds me of my father. Baka maging rebellious anak ko.

10. What piece of advice can you give to your child when they start dating?
Uhm... Don't hurry up...

Di ko feel mag-tag. Ha ha ha..

August 23, 2008

Gusto ko ng mag-tag... E, ikaw.. ikaw nga!

Tipsy Is Helping Me

I am tipsy. Yeah. But I'm not drunk.

I know where I am going. I can put the tips of my fingers with no problems. I can recite the ABC with no mistakes. But I kept on typing incorrectly.

I decided to do this post today, coz I feel that I can express myself better when I am drunk or tipsy, to be exact. As a proof, sentences are coming out perfectly as I walked myself home.

Now with an SML can beside me to keep me tipsy, I can continue writing.

This is the night of Daughtry. The American Idol. The breakthrough non-idol winner with such Billboard number 1 hits. I dressed up with my fave OUTDOOR orange shirt and headed for Cubao MRT. As agreed by my officemates.

6 PM was the call time. They are still in Boni. One was waiting for the train. The other was still at home. I sent a message to the officemate at home "Ateh, hindi sa Araneta ang concert. Sa Eastwood!". No pressure. That's what she (yes, both of them are she's!!)

Gulp Gulp.

Since I thought they'd be taking a lot of time. I decided to go to SB Araneta. Where my clanmates were actually doing a little bonding session. (Yes, I am a part of a clan - a G4M clan. I won't tell what clan it is. It is for you to find out). There they where. I grabbed a chair. Did the usual chitchats. Boyhunting sessions. Da who portions. And everything that bisexuals and gay men combined together can do (exclude the ORGY and everything that comes before that).

We were seated outside SB Araneta minding our own business. There was a pair of guys next to our table. About 2 meters away. They were talking. I never really paid attention to them. In fact, I never really did care. Whatever they talked about, they did or whatever crossed between their table was out of my business.

Then out of nowhere, a friend of them came. *Gulp* I recognized him. It was my former officemate. The friendly side of me made me stood up. Walked towards him and grabbed his elbow. He recognized me. "Oi. Kamusta na" "Ok lang" After those sentences, my head looked to the guy on my right. Shet, I recognize you. Fuck. My EX!

Hi. Hey. Oh musta. Long time no see ah. Uu nga eh. Musta ka na. Oh my God. My ex in front of me. We talked. No bitterness. No heart feelings. All light. All smooth. Took a chair. Sat down. We chatted like no one was there. Just the two of us. We exchanged numbers. And the talk went on again. It is as if nothing happened. I asked him. Oh nakailan ka na? I mean ex? Dalawa pa lang. Ikaw yung una. Ah. Eh ikaw? I never answered. Marami na no?

Kailan nga pala yun? Di ko matandaan eh. 2005? Hindi. Ang pagkakaalam ko graduating ka nun eh. Nag-aaral pa ako. Uu. 2005 yata yun. Ok sige 2004. He he. O ayun nga.

Everything was so smooth. NO questions about why we left each other. What went wrong. All that ex issues crap. Everything was so light. *Gulp gulp gulp* Everything just turned out well.

Until the time came. My officemates were already waiting. In front of the Araneta center. Bid farewell to the clan. Took my Ipod from one of my friends. Went to the other table. said goodbye to my former officemate. Said goodbye to my EX. Actually, kiniliti ko sya sa side. My usual way of saying goodbye. (My former officemate nga pala didn't know I was bisexual. I guess that's what I thought. But that doesn't really matter anymore. He's gay. I'm bisexual. Sooner or later, he'd find out. Our world's governed by six degrees of separation.)

I ran toward the Araneta Coliseum front. There they were waiting on a cab. I rode the cab. And off to Eastwood.

Let's get this part quick. *Gulp Gulp* Yes, I am gonna brag about Daughtry. I just love his bald head. And the facial hair. My fetish. And his voice. Heaven's gift to mainstream rock. Or pop-rock. Whatever. he sang the best songs. Over You. It's Not Over. Home. All These Lives. Breakdown. What About Now. Feels Like Tonight. Used To.

There was a part where he requested every camera present to take a shot on his count. Four Three Two One. Then he'd pose. Then all cameras were flashing. Such a great concert. The next time he comes back, I'll be on front row. Fighting my way for the drumsticks, his towel or even the feel of his hands. And perhaps being sprayed by the water. THE CONCERT WAS A BLAST. Btw, I think I saw Bianca Araneta. OMG, goddess indeed. Shet!

Can't get over the concert, we decided to drink. Headed to IL Pirata. Took a table. And then the menus were given. Hey. You. Waiter. Shet. Gwapo mo! Grabe. Damn. Nice chinito eyes. Nice skin. And the braces. You may not have facial hair. But damn, OMG. Shet.

Ka-badtrip nga lang. Straight mode ako. Kainis. Whenever he passes by, I'd look at him. He looks back. I can't sustain the look. He he. Mahiyain ako eh. Pero whenever I get the chance. Go. I'd look at him. I just can't make the move. I'm with people who thinks I am straight. Waaaah. So kinausap ko yung friend ko na may kakilala doon. Babalik tayo dito. With bekis. Make me drunk. I'll get your number. I'll make YOUR night! Give you what you want! Ha ha. *Gulp gulp*

During those times when we were drinking and me trying to make a connection (with that waiter), someone was sending me a message. Some unknown guy. Turned out to be my ex's friend, who was in SB. He liked me. He invited me to drinking sessions but I declined. Because I am already in one and I knew what will happen next. In some of his invitations, he included, "tabi ka sakin matulog." He even sent me a message asking me for SEX. He reasoned out that it was sent wrongly and it was his friend who texted.. damn. Oh cmon. Don't fool me. But then, he is kinda interesting. I just didn't notice him that much coz I was talking to my EX!!!!!!! Ha ha. *Gulp gulp*

Then the session ended. I think we were the last people to leave IL Pirata. With no name. No number. Nothing, Just a memory of his face. Waaah. My next target. HIM!

Here's a thought for you. What would you do if you meet your ex? Or if your ex's friend is interested in you??

Goodnight!

Oxy-moron!

A friend of mine sent this to me... wala akong magawa kaya pinost ko na lang...

Nakakatawa talaga ang love.  Isa siya
napakalaking oxymoron.  Lahat ng pwede mong 
masabi sa kanya, baliktarin mo at totoo pa rin.  
Ang labo di ba? Pero ang linaw.

Masaya magmahal.  Malungkot magmahal.  Di mo 
naiintindihan pero naiintindihan mo.  Walang 
rason.  Maraming rason.  Di mo na kaya, pero 
kaya 
mo pa rin.  Masakit magmahal.  Pero okey lang.

Leche, ano ba talaga?!

May kaibigan ako, sabi niya dati “Love is only 
for
stupid people.”  Nakakatawa kasi cumlaude ang 
standing niya, pero dumating ang panahon, na-in-
love din ang hunghang.  At ayun, tanga na siya 
ngayon.

Lahat kasi ng nahahawakan ng love nagiging 
oxymoron din.  O kaya paminsan, nagiging moron 
lang.

Hindi lang kasi basta baliktaran ang pag-ibig.  
Lahat ng bagay nababaligtad din niya.  Lahat ng 
malalakas na tao, humihina.  Ang mayayabang, 
nagpapakumbaba.  Ang mga walang pakialam, 
nagiging Mother Theresa.

Ang mga henyo, nauubusan ng sagot.  Ang 
malulungkot, sumasaya.  Ang matitigas, 
lumalambot. (At tumitigas din ang mga bagay na 
madalas nama’y malambot.)

Nakakatawa talaga.  Lalo na kapag dumadating 
siya sa mga taong ayaw na talaga magmahal.  Napansin 
ko nga eh.  Parang kung gusto mo lang ma-in-love 
ulit, sabihin mo lang ang magic words na “Ayoko 
na ma-in-love!” biglang WACHA! Ayan na siya.  
Nang-aasar.  Magpapaasar ka naman.

Di ba nakakatawa rin na pagdating sa problema ng 
ibang tao, ang galing galing mo? Pero pag 
problema mo na yung pinag-uusapan parang 
nawawalan ng saysay lahat ng ipinayo mo dun sa 
namomroblemang tao?  Naiisip mong wala namang 
mali dun sa mga sinabi mo.  Pero bakit parang 
wala ring tama?

Bali-baliktad din ang nagsasabi ng mga taong 
tinamaan ng madugong pana ng pag-ibig.  “Ngayon 
ko lang nalaman ganito pala.  Sabi ko na 
eh!” “Ang sarap
mabuhay.  Pwede na ko mamatay.  
Now na!”

At hindi lang yon.  Ang sarap din pagtawanan  ng 
mga taong alam naman nilang masasaktan lang sila 
eh magpapatihulog pa rin sa bangin
ng pag-ibig.  
Tapos pag luray-luray na yung puso nila, syempre 
hindi sila yung may kasalanan.  Siya! “Bakit 
niya ko sinaktan?” May kasama pang pagsuntok
sa pader yon, at pagbabagsak ng pinto.

Hayop talaga.

Mauubos ang buong magdamag ko kakasabi ng mga 
bagay na nakakatawa pag pag-ibig na ang pinag-
uusapan.  Ang daming beses ko na kasi siyang 
nakakasalubong kaya masasabi ko nang eksperto na 
ko.  Pero wala pa rin akong alam.

Pero ang pinakanakakatawa sa lahat ay ang 
katotohanang kapag gusto magpatawa ng pag-ibig, 
ipusta mo na lahat ng ari-arian mo dahil 
siguradong ikaw ang punchline.

Nakakatawa no?

Nakakaiyak.

Hay life...


....So True