Latest Mistake

[was originally written in the office, 4th of October 2009]

i am in no condition to work right now. not because i feel sick.. we'll, a little.. would a broken heart be included? but because i drank last night. three bottles of san mig light. i know you'd say, "oh c'mon, three bottles and you're drunk?" but for someone like me who haven't tasted a beer for years, i'd say i'd be drunk on the second. and with a pair of pants smelling like shit cause a friend on mine spilled beer on it, that has made going to work worse.

he brightened up my day. he came home from work and his smile was heavenly. i can definitely stare at his face for a long long time. he wasn't aloof when he sat down and ate his dinner. he was actually speaking up and laughing... and that felt really comfortable. however, he had to go to sleep, work had restrained him from joining our booze fest.

before we went to bed, i got to look at him. a sleeping angel indeed. i wanted to touch him, to caress him, to kiss him, but i just can't. apparently his reluctance to go any further with our budding relationship has created a wall that neither his housemate / my friend can break. now i know how the phrase "so close, yet so far" means.

before i left their house for work, i left a gift beside his pillow. it was a teddy bear, with a tear and a handkerchief which says "i miss you." i really wanted an "i'm sorry" bear - however i wasn't able to find one. i guess this must be the nearest.

i sent him a message the moment i arrived at work. saying that i left a gift for him, more like an apology for what happened before. he said he had forgotten it a long time ago. i asked him if we can go out again - a friendly date, perhaps. he said yes, as long as he is free. i do hope it happens.

before i went to their place, i had mandy moore's latest mistake on the loop on my ipod. i decided to change it to jordin sparks' one step at a time...

[i guess changing it to jordin's one step at a time was my latest mistake after all...]

The Dare

Two of my officemates, one belonging to the same project as I am and the other has just been redeployed to another one, and me, decided to re-visit our working lunch place and spill a couple of drinks just before the other one changes from a dayshift to a midshift schedule and eventually be thrown to a european country to learn all the booze their client is currently selling.

When the three of us still belonged to the same project, and after the redeployment initiatives of Bevs (our exec, who looks like the comedienne Ms. Salviejo) had started taking its toll on most of the support personnel, we had abused our working lunch time from a mere 1 hour to even up to 2 hours. We spend it in our favorite place - Kuwago's. It's a bar/resto that offers a place for inuman, hip-hop and dance dancing, acoustic jamming and videoke.

Let me make a preface that when I initially joined their group May last year, they had doubts that I was bending on the pink side. Or at least I was already bent. A few months after, T (btw, they're both ladies - and T is the straightforward girl, will ask anything, without hesitations, without limitations and tease anyone whenever she can) asked me if I was one. I said NO.

And up until now, after all the teasing, the questioning and the sneaking, I still stand to my answer that I wasn't. They never believed that (I know). They'd keep teasing me to tell them the truth, but I still stood ground.. and never bent...

A few weeks after Y and me has been redeployed to this new project, Y started teasing me to this girl. This girl was cute. Preppy. Funny. And since the two ladies, and given that they were "ladies", had been telling each other what been happening to me and them and the three of us, E knew it the moment she visited our office. Y even pointed out who the girl was. And as usual, there was the teasing.

Last Friday, as agreed upon, we met in Kuwago's. We started talking about a multitude of things, from Hayden's sex videos, the first case of H1N1 infection here in the Philippines and just everything under the sun.

And who would forget, the girl. That lucky, innocent girl who looks straight into my eyes when we talk - no blinking, just sparkling. So they took the chance, a chance to settle it all out. A chance for me to prove them that I wasn't bent.

The dare was: To ask the girl out on our lunch. My treat. If the girl agrees to the lunch, I continue to court her and see where it goes. And they will believe that I so hate pink (which I doubt they will). If she declines, ask her out again on Tuesday and Wednesday. If she declines, I treat the ladies for lunch. And the teasing, and all that continues, not until I tell them that I am so in "lurve" with pink.

The plan was, come Monday, I'd ask the girl out for lunch (before 11:30 am). By 11:30 am, Y would approach me and ask if we are gonna take our lunch together or not (we used to have lunches together). Declining from Y means I did it. Otherwise, I am doomed.

And I certainly agreed to the deal. With no hesitations. I'll just ask out the girl casually. If she says yes, then we're out on a date. And it won't go any further (for the reason that I don't wanna fool someone for the sake of a deal). If she says no, then I am fine with it. The ladies can think everything they want (it's the truth anyways) but I won't sacrifice my morals for the sake of proving them wrong (they never were).

We'll see what happens.





(time today is 9:43 pm, May 24, 2009)

By the time you finish this, the dare is already over.

Blog Tag

Hay. I noticed this na sa post ni Eugene, di ko binasa yung dulo. Tapos nakita ko sa blog ni Erin.. he was tagged by Eugene. Hala. Balik ako sa blog ni Eugene, was tagged too! Nyahaha. Anyways, gawin ko na rin..

1. When was your first kiss and where?
Sa isang sinehan sa Robinson's Ermita (yung old Rob Ermita pa.)

2. When was your first real relationship and how long did it last?
3 years ago. Basta.

3. What age were you allowed to date?
Meron bang ganyan?

4. What's the craziest thing you did (for love) when you were a teenager?
Wasnt a teenager when I was in love. I was 21 or 20 I think.

5. How long is your longest relationship and what's the secret?
Gaano nga ba katagal? Hmmm.. Secret yon. Di ko ugali magsabi ng ganyan about sa past ko. I dunno. Siguro respect na rin for my exes. Ha ha.

6. How long did you date before you decided to settle down?
No settling down yet. Not at this time.

7. How long did you know he was the ONE?
Wala pa nga eh. Meron ba?

8. Now, at what age will you allow your kid(s) to date? (if and only if I end up having kids)
I wanted twin boys. Hmmm.. So with boys, hindi masyadong strict. All they have to do is give me good grades. Graduate school. Get a good job. Then the rest is up to them.

9. When it comes to your kids dating, will you be a cool parent or a strict parent?
Cool. Ayoko ng strict. Reminds me of my father. Baka maging rebellious anak ko.

10. What piece of advice can you give to your child when they start dating?
Uhm... Don't hurry up...

Di ko feel mag-tag. Ha ha ha..

August 23, 2008

Gusto ko ng mag-tag... E, ikaw.. ikaw nga!