Straight-dar

it has been a commonality in most bisexuals, effeminates, discreets or gays, in general, that when we look at a guy or someone else, we tend to think, first and foremost... if they are one of us. some might disagree with my first statement, but then in the longer run, you tend to think the same way.. specially if the guy is hot, interesting, cute, gwapo and all that...

we all know this instinct, even women have this what we call gay-dar... and so when we see a potential guy far away, yet our eyes so sharp to notice them, our gay-dars, no matter how empty their batteries are, are always on the run. we tend to look for signs - the fingers, the hips, the way he walks, he talks (if we are near), the people with him, the eyes... and sometimes, we just go through our guts...

it has become my hobby to always have my gay-dar up and running... pero sakin... may difference... in a crowd, i treat all men to be one of us... tapos dun ako hahanap ng sign kung sila ay straight.. works quite the same, pero sakin lahat gay muna... and i wouldn't think it's a gay-dar... it's more of a "straight-dar"

i am sharing because i am wondering if my gay-dar or "straight-dar," for that matter, is working fine...

i have this crush in the office. he's not my first crush, had several crushes before sa office, pero nagfade ung iba... he was from another team but since almost everyone knows everybody in the project (not necessarily by name, but by face. its like when you see him/her, you'd say "oh, he/she's my officemate), i always get to see him...

thorough research has given me his name - JF. and i also found out that one of my teammates is a close friend of him - MC (not mariah carey, choz!). one night, MC sent me an email na kamustahin ko raw si JF and magreply sa email nya. through our chat room, i sent him the message. he replied and thanked me.

another night, we were seated opposite each other with just a partition (you know the typical call center partition!). with his headset on, he stood up and said "di ba ikaw c *LFTS*?" (don't bother knowing what's LFTS means, that's looking for the source!)

"uu"

"di ba pinangalan ung name mo kay *LF* at *TS*?"

"uu sa anak ni LJ"

my name was actually taken from the two sons of a famous band member... (guessing game ba ito?)

and that's how we became friends. thanks to my parents who gave me that name.

from then on he would always ask me if i had lunch na. or kung break ko na. he would always call me by my name + the last name of the band member... favorite nya kasi un. we would talk about alternative music (band of horses) and would always borrow my psp to play NFS Carbon.

it was always ganun. feeling heaven.

until one night, i found out na sila na pala ni MC (MC by the way is a girl). MC confessed na they have been dating and theyve been partners for almost a month na. sakin, cge goodluck sa inyo. straight nmn ang tingin ko sa kanya eh - at least that's what my gaydar says... or is it? (note, within that "almost a month" kami nagkakilala).

i dunno if i diagnosed it right. or maybe im just fooling myself na straight nga sya talaga.

here are the facts.

>> when times na dadaanan nya ako, or mapapadaan lang sya, there are times na he would touch my waist.. discreetly... oh.. heaven for me.. ha ha..

>> another time na sinabi pa nyang "hindi mo na ako kinukulit?" (if he knew i was bisexual, or even if he knew i was straight, would he ask another straight man na kulitin sya?)

>> i took one of his escalated calls, which ended up as a dispatch (sending out a tech to the customer's house), i did a favor for him na ako na ang magp-process ng dispatch. i sent him a mail na the dispatch has been successfully made... guess what he replied... thanks!!MWAH!! (and i quote, the mwah are typed in caps!) - would a straight guy tell "mwah" to another straight guy? or at least someone who pretends to be? ive done same favors for other straight guys, and as a reply, they say "tenchu", "thanks", or "salamat pre/tol" but never was a mwah in any of the messages...

>> here's one more... this happened just last night.. he was sitting with his friend (which is an extremely out loud gay - call him ER) and as usual, i was near them... biglang banat si ER - "JF bottom mo nga ako!"

...JF's reaction was at first dumbfounded... then he reacted... "TOP ako..."

...bwelta si ER "dali na bottom mo ako"

...JF didn't react...

...then...

...JF : "versa ako eh..."

...ER : "ah versa ka, eh di bottom mo ako, bottom kita!"

...JF just laughed...

for a straight guy, and in some one in a straight guy-girl relationship, the guy's always on TOP, no questions about it. but for a straight guy to know about TOP, BOTTOM and VERSA... oh cmon (not unless he's a tripper - trippers >> naku bading din yan, feeling lang straight!)

what do you think?

pa-repair ko na ba gaydar ko?